Realization from my Lenten Meditations: I am a Dismal Failure; I need God to Survive Here & Eternally!!!
Lenten Daily Meditations
“Renew within me a Right Spirit.”—Psalm 51:12
Celebrating the “Spiritual Season!”
Forty-Six (47) Days from Ash Wednesday to Easter… Realize Lent is over on Palm Sunday; it is now Holy Week)…
Forty Nights between Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday…
Only 14 of 40… is my Lenten Preparation a dismal failure?
Then Fifty (50) Days to Pentecost…
Seven Penitential Psalms: 6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130, 143
Matthew 4:1-11; Psalm 51; Psalm 6, 32, 38, 102, 130, 143
Matthew 4:1-11
“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2 He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry. 3 The tempter approached and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become loaves of bread.” 4 He said in reply, “It is written:
‘One does not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.’”
5 Then the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, 6 and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written:
‘He will command his angels concerning you’
and ‘with their hands they will support you,
lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”
7 Jesus answered him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.’” 8 Then the devil took him up to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in their magnificence, 9 and he said to him, “All these I shall give to you, if you will prostrate yourself and worship me.” 10 At this, Jesus said to him, “Get away, Satan! It is written:
‘The Lord, your God, shall you worship
and him alone shall you serve.’”
11 Then the devil left him and, behold, angels came and ministered to him.”—Matthew 4:1-11
Psalm 51
“Have mercy on me, God, in accord with your merciful love;
in your abundant compassion blot out my transgressions.
4 Thoroughly wash away my guilt;
and from my sin cleanse me.
5 For I know my transgressions;
my sin is always before me.
6 Against you, you alone have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your eyes
So that you are just in your word,
and without reproach in your judgment.
7 Behold, I was born in guilt,
in sin my mother conceived me.
8 Behold, you desire true sincerity;
and secretly you teach me wisdom.
9 Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
10 You will let me hear gladness and joy;
the bones you have crushed will rejoice.
11 Turn away your face from my sins;
blot out all my iniquities.
12 A clean heart create for me, God;
renew within me a steadfast spirit.
13 Do not drive me from before your face,
nor take from me your Holy Spirit.
14 Restore to me the gladness of your Salvation;
uphold me with a willing Spirit.
15 I will teach the wicked your ways,
that sinners may return to you.
16 Rescue me from violent bloodshed, God, my saving God,
and my tongue will sing joyfully of your justice.
17 Lord, you will open my lips;
and my mouth will proclaim your praise.
18 For you do not desire sacrifice or I would give it;
a burnt offering you would not accept.
19 My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit;
a contrite, humbled heart, O God, you will not scorn.
20 Treat Zion kindly according to your good will;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
21 Then you will desire the sacrifices of the just,
burnt offering and whole offerings;
then they will offer up young bulls on your altar.”—Psalm 51
Psalm 6
“Do not reprove me in your anger, Lord,
nor punish me in your wrath.
3 Have pity on me, Lord, for I am weak;
heal me, Lord, for my bones are shuddering.
4 My soul too is shuddering greatly—
and you, Lord, how long…?
5 Turn back, Lord, rescue my soul;
save me because of your mercy.
6 For in death there is no remembrance of you.
Who praises you in Sheol?
7 I am wearied with sighing;
all night long I drench my bed with tears;
I soak my couch with weeping.
8 My eyes are dimmed with sorrow,
worn out because of all my foes.
9 Away from me, all who do evil!
The Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
10 The Lord has heard my plea;
the Lord will receive my prayer.
11 My foes will all be disgraced and will shudder greatly;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.”—Psalm 6
Psalm 32
“Blessed is the one whose fault is removed,
whose sin is forgiven.
2 Blessed is the man to whom the Lord imputes no guilt,
in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 Because I kept silent, my bones wasted away;
I groaned all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength withered as in dry summer heat.
5 Then I declared my sin to you;
my guilt I did not hide.
I said, “I confess my transgression to the Lord,”
and you took away the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore every loyal person should pray to you
in time of distress.
Though flood waters threaten,
they will never reach him.
7 You are my shelter; you guard me from distress;
with joyful shouts of deliverance you surround me.
8 I will instruct you and show you the way you should walk,
give you counsel with my eye upon you.
“Do not be like a horse or mule, without understanding; with bit and bridle their Temper is curbed, else they will not come to You.”—Psalm 32:9
10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked one,
but mercy surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
11 Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous;
exult, all you upright of heart.”—Psalm 32
Psalm 38
1 A psalm of David. For remembrance.
2 Lord, do not punish me in your anger;
in your wrath do not chastise me!
3 Your arrows have sunk deep in me;
your hand has come down upon me.
4 There is no wholesomeness in my flesh because of your anger;
there is no health in my bones because of my sin.
5 My iniquities overwhelm me,
a burden too heavy for me.
6 Foul and festering are my sores
because of my folly.
7 I am stooped and deeply bowed;
every day I go about mourning.
8 My loins burn with fever;
there is no wholesomeness in my flesh.
9 I am numb and utterly crushed;
I wail with anguish of heart.
10 My Lord, my deepest yearning is before you;
my groaning is not hidden from you.
11 My heart shudders, my strength forsakes me;
the very light of my eyes has failed.
12 Friends and companions shun my disease;
my neighbors stand far off.
13 Those who seek my life lay snares for me;
they seek my misfortune, they speak of ruin;
they plot treachery every day.
“But I am like the deaf, hearing nothing; like the mute, I do not open my mouth; I am even like someone who does not hear, who has no answer ready. Lord, it is for You that I wait; O Lord, my God, You respond.”—Psalm 38:14-16
17 For I have said that they would gloat over me,
exult over me if I stumble.
18 I am very near to falling;
my wounds are with me always.
19 I acknowledge my guilt
and grieve over my sin.
20 My enemies live and grow strong,
those who hate me grow numerous fraudulently,
21 Repaying me evil for good,
accusing me for pursuing good.
22 Do not forsake me, O Lord;
my God, be not far from me!
23 Come quickly to help me,
my Lord and my salvation!—Psalm 38
Psalm 102
1 The prayer of one afflicted and wasting away whose anguish is poured out before the Lord.
2 Lord, hear my prayer;
let my cry come to you.
3 Do not hide your face from me
in the day of my distress.
Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.
4 For my days vanish like smoke;
my bones burn away as in a furnace.
5 My heart is withered, dried up like grass,
too wasted to eat my food.
6 From my loud groaning
I become just skin and bones.
7 I am like a desert owl,
like an owl among the ruins.
8 I lie awake and moan,
like a lone sparrow on the roof.
9 All day long my enemies taunt me;
in their rage, they make my name a curse.
10 I eat ashes like bread,
mingle my drink with tears.
11 Because of your furious wrath,
you lifted me up just to cast me down.
12 My days are like a lengthening shadow;
I wither like the grass.
13 But you, Lord, are enthroned forever;
your renown is for all generations.
14 You will again show mercy to Zion;
now is the time for pity;
the appointed time has come.
15 Its stones are dear to your servants;
its dust moves them to pity.
16 The nations shall fear your name, Lord,
all the kings of the earth, your glory,
17 Once the Lord has rebuilt Zion
and appeared in glory,
18 Heeding the plea of the lowly,
not scorning their prayer.
19 Let this be written for the next generation,
for a people not yet born,
that they may praise the Lord:
20 “The Lord looked down from the holy heights,
viewed the earth from heaven,
21 To attend to the groaning of the prisoners,
to release those doomed to die.”
22 Then the Lord’s name will be declared on Zion,
his praise in Jerusalem,
23 When peoples and kingdoms gather
to serve the Lord.
24 He has shattered my strength in mid-course,
has cut short my days.
25 I plead, O my God,
do not take me in the midst of my days.
Your years last through all generations.
26 Of old you laid the earth’s foundations;
the heavens are the work of your hands.
27 They perish, but you remain;
they all wear out like a garment;
Like clothing you change them and they are changed,
28 but you are the same, your years have no end.
29 May the children of your servants live on;
may their descendants live in your presence.—Psalm 102
Psalm 130
1 A song of ascents.
“Out of the depths I call to You, Lord; Lord, hear my cry! May Your Ears be attentive to my cry for Mercy. If You, Lord, keep account of sins, Lord, who can stand? But with You is Forgiveness and so You are revered.”—Psalm 130: 2-4
5 I wait for the Lord,
my soul waits
and I hope for his word.
6 My soul looks for the Lord
more than sentinels for daybreak.
More than sentinels for daybreak,
7 let Israel hope in the Lord,
For with the Lord is mercy,
with him is plenteous redemption,
8 And he will redeem Israel
from all its sins.—Psalm 130
Psalm 143
1 A psalm of David.
“Lord, hear my Prayer; in your Faithfulness listen to my pleading; answer me in Your Righteousness. Do not enter into Judgment with Your Servant; before you no one can be just.”
—Psalm 143:1-2
3 The enemy has pursued my soul;
he has crushed my life to the ground.
He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
4 My spirit is faint within me;
my heart despairs.
5 I remember the days of old;
I ponder all your deeds;
the works of your hands I recall.
“I stretch out my hands toward You.”—Psalm 143:6
my soul to you like a parched land.
“Hasten to answer me, Lord; for my Spirit fails me. Do not hide Your Face from me, lest I become like those descending to the pit. In the morning let me hear of Your Mercy, for in You I trust. Show me the path I should walk, for I entrust my life to You.”—Psalm 143:7-8
9 Rescue me, Lord, from my foes,
for I seek refuge in you.
“Teach me to do Your Will, for You are my God. May Your Kind Spirit guide me… for Your Name’s Sake, Lord, give me life; in Your Righteousness lead my Soul out of distress… in your Mercy… for I am Your Servant.”—Psalm 143:10-12
on ground that is level.
11 For your name’s sake, Lord, give me life;
in your righteousness lead my soul out of distress.
12 In your mercy put an end to my foes;
all those who are oppressing my soul,
for I am your servant.—Psalm 143
Lent is over and for the very first time I realized that I am a dismal failure and need God to survive here and eternally… went 14 for 40 on my “Lenten Sacrifice” of eating 2,000 calories per day… hopefully God likes baseball and my 0.350 batting average… honestly I tried my best and most slips were in the 2,ooonds… and I did lose a few of those pandemic pounds… and I was totally honest with myself and God and the realization came to me that I do not need to be perfect in God’s Eyes… He does love me and knows I realized and tried my best to be out there in the desert with Jesus these last 40 days… I know I need God in my life, first of firsts, to survive in this world and beyond for all of Eternity! May God Bless all of us as we journey through the ups and downs of Holy Week… may our Hope be transformed into Joy and Eternal Life right here on Earth! Knowing God is present in all faiths and all religions I wish my Jewish friends a beautiful Passover! We all have a common heritage and our diversity is truly our strength so let’s make it so! “Renew within me a Right Spirit.”—Psalm 51:12 PS Link includes my Lenten Meditations including Matthew 4:1-11 and the Seven Penitential Psalms…
(Andy Reistetter, Facebook Post 3-29-21 with one link)
Celebrating 22,222 Days of Life; Maybe Life is as Simple as Knowing & Counting 0,1,2,3!!!
For me, my way of life, which has emerged as “The Rest of My Life,” or the acronym T-R-O-M-L (pronounced “Tee-ROM-El”; sounds like ‘Tomorrow’) and being my ‘Splendid Spiritual Self’ all started with a knowing, contemplating, and living out a bible verse:
Yes, counting my days all the way back to Day 00000… when Mom & Dad somehow expressed their love for God, each other and family in mid-January 1959 in Binghamton, New York.
Either way we know, or should know, realize, and worship the day we came to life along with the day we entered the world all grown up and developed as a newborn baby! Day 00000 as I mentioned above.
By the way, TROML is a dynamic self-realization process; a 17-day journal-based go-within ongoing exercise that leads to the discovery of one’s ‘Splendid Spiritual Self (SSS).’ My SSS is “GOD’s TROML Baby of Joy & Gratitude!” Not a bad assignment for the rest of my life, hopefully another 30 years or so, and then ‘Beyond What Seems to Be.” Bit that is another story, another article, maybe my first spiritual YouTube video under the ‘TROML2020” umbrella?
This was a time of great spiritual growth in my life. Suffice it to say I believe Roman Catholics are ‘born again’ in the normal process and application of our religion. I felt the stirrings of Christ within me at a young age and took actions on the belief that he was my personal Savior. Far beyond knowing right from wrong and accepting myself as being imperfect, religion was a big part of our family and a big part of me, the part I could go to within and find peace, comfort, and strength as a little boy, young man, and an adult male in this crazy secular world of ours.
Ironically the chair that the inward procession of Christians led me to was exactly on top of the pitcher’s mound in the now demolished Silver Baseball Stadium.
TROML 2020 is a 10-point life objective centered around the 20th anniversary of TROML and SSS on September 2nd, 2020. Some points having been accomplished, some ongoing, and some yet to be started. In the big picture, TROML 2020 started with last winter’s ‘Spiritual Journey to Israel and Palestine,’ continues with more Bible and Life studies, and culminates in a third spiritual book with an associated YouTube Channel.
I can only hope to be here for Day 33333 in April 2050! Would that not be a beautiful Spring Day somewhere in the world?
Today is the 7,000th day of TROML, the dynamic, spiritual, self-realization process I began, have been developing & perfecting since September 2nd, 2000!
Climbed my first of the 46 Adirondack Peaks this morning! Thinking 4-to-5 a year during the upcoming 7th decade of my life would be a good thing! Passed on nearby Mount Marcy, the highest in New York State, started with one of the easiest, Baxter Mountain! Great trail, great hike, passed 23 adults, 14 children, & 2 dogs going up & coming down! Took about 2-1/2 hours with 30 minutes up on top! More TROML Thoughts to come! Glorious view, awesome feeling of being ONE with nature! God’s Country! Here are the pics in order of ascent! Thank you to Ranger Rob for some great trail insight & advice! Adirondack Park is well run, organized & maintained! TROML Baby (an exclamation of Joy and Gratitude)!!!
Roots exposed… large flat rocks…gradual slope… coolness of August morning in the shade of the forest canopy. In the mountains, elevation dictates temperature (learned this in Nicaragua Mountains
Huffing and puffing; feel my heart beating in my chest and right ear! Pass father and daughter coming down and they took a picture of me upon my request! Upright please (vertical, not horizontal pic)! I stood upright like the trees although I felt tired and wanted to lay down horizontally! “Over half way,” they said!
1 Peter 2:4: “As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him…”
Psalm 71:3: “Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.”
Grasshoppers! Sound of their wings flapping!
This looks like the way down! Definitely down mountain! I turn around and go back 50-70 yards. Cool in the shade; I feel the coolness of my sweat on my cheeks and back. I hear the rustle of the wind through the trees. I hear the rubbing of upper tree trunks, one to the other. Or is that the sound of a bird above?
I see new yellow trail markers! Indicating the way down? But I passed people coming down on the Blue Trail on my way up to here! Wrong fork back ‘up;’ may just be a loop at the top? I have to go back down some way; get to my car!
I am scared by the sound of a lady’s voice. She thought I had already seen her husband and their dog. I get scared easily even on the top of mountains!
I go back from the direction I came from. The yellow trail must be some sort of connecting trail. Opposite side of the mountain; unlikely to lead me back to my car. Did the man, lady, and dog turn around too? Far enough! I went far enough!
September 3rd, 2018 marks 18 years of TROML Journaling all my life’s thoughts, feelings, & experiences and, most importantly, learning from them through the unique & powerful TROML Process! A ‘Splendid Spiritual Self’ and a lifestyle of peace, joy, & freedom has emerged for me over the years. There are no shortcuts in life, though if you CUT into yourself (in a healthy manner) and learn to accept, love, and be compassionate to your True Self, it is a SHORT road home to peace, joy, & freedom (and a home to enjoy for all eternity). Far from perrfect, YES, you are RIGHT… perfectionism, control, all-or-nothing thinking, and judgmentalism have no home in me anymore. Everyone, certainly everyone I have met around the world, has their own TROML Program & their own unique ‘Splendid Spiritual Self’ has emerged too… we are all ‘human-beings-in-progress! THANK YOU all for sharing yourself with me on a spiritual level. ‘Spiritual Love,’ that’s the foundation for our successes and the answer to all our problems, individually and collectively! TROML Baby Forever!
My moment of truth came in the emergency room of a hospital in my hometown of Binghamton, NY. There to visit my mother who was deathly ill in the hospital (who survived a 17-night hospital stay and lived another year, thank God) I broke out in a body rash. The emergency room doctor, without really examining me (did look at my body but did not relate or connect with ME) quickly wrote out a prescription and handed it to me. I am not a drug-taking person and just knew there had to be a better way to live so I started my TROML Journal that very night…
Yeah, right now, this moment is the youngest I will ever be so why not do something meaningful for ourselves, family, friends, and future generations? TROML Forever Baby!

mediately you think, right? WRONG!!!
Yes, someone has to turn off that alarm clock and someone has to get out of bed and begin the day of thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior. But it should not automatically be your mind!
TROML Realization: Release That Which Does Not Serve GOD…



Late last night I got a call and was informed of what would be a tragic event if it would happen as described. It took me immediately to the bottom of my evilest instincts. How could this thoughtless and hurtful action even be comprehended without consideration of its impact?
God has instilled patience in me and I am so very grateful. I do not have to respond or react immediately to anyone or anything.
In this moment, for this moment, God has made me perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If I give ‘patience’ her due, her time, and her respect she will be miraculous things in me and in my life and the lives of my friends and family. Indeed, in the life of all if they so believe and walk in the Bible as anyone may.
Hope and grace go together like two peas in a pod. Find one, find the other. Feel one, feel the other. Let them nourish us in our time of need.
“Love and charity is patient, is kind; love and charity does not envy, is not pretentious, is not puffed up, is not ambitious, is not self-seeking, is not provoked; thinks no evil, does not rejoice over wickedness, but rejoices with the truth; bears with all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love and charity never fails, whereas prophecies will disappear, and tongues will cease, and knowledge will be destroyed.””
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
My thoughts go to a recent movie I saw called “Molly’s Game.” The main realization for me in this inspiring story is the importance of one’s name. What it means to self and others, past, present, and future. In reality Molly’s love, spirit, and patience enable her story to be told in a proper manner and ultimately leads to her human and spiritual freedom.