Realization from my Lenten Meditations: I am a Dismal Failure; I need God to Survive Here & Eternally!!!
Lenten Daily Meditations
“Renew within me a Right Spirit.”—Psalm 51:12
Celebrating the “Spiritual Season!”
Forty-Six (47) Days from Ash Wednesday to Easter… Realize Lent is over on Palm Sunday; it is now Holy Week)…
Forty Nights between Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday…
Only 14 of 40… is my Lenten Preparation a dismal failure?
Then Fifty (50) Days to Pentecost…
Seven Penitential Psalms: 6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130, 143
Matthew 4:1-11; Psalm 51; Psalm 6, 32, 38, 102, 130, 143
Matthew 4:1-11
“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2 He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry. 3 The tempter approached and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become loaves of bread.” 4 He said in reply, “It is written:
‘One does not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.’”
5 Then the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, 6 and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written:
‘He will command his angels concerning you’
and ‘with their hands they will support you,
lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”
7 Jesus answered him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.’” 8 Then the devil took him up to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in their magnificence, 9 and he said to him, “All these I shall give to you, if you will prostrate yourself and worship me.” 10 At this, Jesus said to him, “Get away, Satan! It is written:
‘The Lord, your God, shall you worship
and him alone shall you serve.’”
11 Then the devil left him and, behold, angels came and ministered to him.”—Matthew 4:1-11
Psalm 51
“Have mercy on me, God, in accord with your merciful love;
in your abundant compassion blot out my transgressions.
4 Thoroughly wash away my guilt;
and from my sin cleanse me.
5 For I know my transgressions;
my sin is always before me.
6 Against you, you alone have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your eyes
So that you are just in your word,
and without reproach in your judgment.
7 Behold, I was born in guilt,
in sin my mother conceived me.
8 Behold, you desire true sincerity;
and secretly you teach me wisdom.
9 Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
10 You will let me hear gladness and joy;
the bones you have crushed will rejoice.
11 Turn away your face from my sins;
blot out all my iniquities.
12 A clean heart create for me, God;
renew within me a steadfast spirit.
13 Do not drive me from before your face,
nor take from me your Holy Spirit.
14 Restore to me the gladness of your Salvation;
uphold me with a willing Spirit.
15 I will teach the wicked your ways,
that sinners may return to you.
16 Rescue me from violent bloodshed, God, my saving God,
and my tongue will sing joyfully of your justice.
17 Lord, you will open my lips;
and my mouth will proclaim your praise.
18 For you do not desire sacrifice or I would give it;
a burnt offering you would not accept.
19 My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit;
a contrite, humbled heart, O God, you will not scorn.
20 Treat Zion kindly according to your good will;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
21 Then you will desire the sacrifices of the just,
burnt offering and whole offerings;
then they will offer up young bulls on your altar.”—Psalm 51
Psalm 6
“Do not reprove me in your anger, Lord,
nor punish me in your wrath.
3 Have pity on me, Lord, for I am weak;
heal me, Lord, for my bones are shuddering.
4 My soul too is shuddering greatly—
and you, Lord, how long…?
5 Turn back, Lord, rescue my soul;
save me because of your mercy.
6 For in death there is no remembrance of you.
Who praises you in Sheol?
7 I am wearied with sighing;
all night long I drench my bed with tears;
I soak my couch with weeping.
8 My eyes are dimmed with sorrow,
worn out because of all my foes.
9 Away from me, all who do evil!
The Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
10 The Lord has heard my plea;
the Lord will receive my prayer.
11 My foes will all be disgraced and will shudder greatly;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.”—Psalm 6
Psalm 32
“Blessed is the one whose fault is removed,
whose sin is forgiven.
2 Blessed is the man to whom the Lord imputes no guilt,
in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 Because I kept silent, my bones wasted away;
I groaned all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength withered as in dry summer heat.
5 Then I declared my sin to you;
my guilt I did not hide.
I said, “I confess my transgression to the Lord,”
and you took away the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore every loyal person should pray to you
in time of distress.
Though flood waters threaten,
they will never reach him.
7 You are my shelter; you guard me from distress;
with joyful shouts of deliverance you surround me.
8 I will instruct you and show you the way you should walk,
give you counsel with my eye upon you.
“Do not be like a horse or mule, without understanding; with bit and bridle their Temper is curbed, else they will not come to You.”—Psalm 32:9
10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked one,
but mercy surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
11 Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous;
exult, all you upright of heart.”—Psalm 32
Psalm 38
1 A psalm of David. For remembrance.
2 Lord, do not punish me in your anger;
in your wrath do not chastise me!
3 Your arrows have sunk deep in me;
your hand has come down upon me.
4 There is no wholesomeness in my flesh because of your anger;
there is no health in my bones because of my sin.
5 My iniquities overwhelm me,
a burden too heavy for me.
6 Foul and festering are my sores
because of my folly.
7 I am stooped and deeply bowed;
every day I go about mourning.
8 My loins burn with fever;
there is no wholesomeness in my flesh.
9 I am numb and utterly crushed;
I wail with anguish of heart.
10 My Lord, my deepest yearning is before you;
my groaning is not hidden from you.
11 My heart shudders, my strength forsakes me;
the very light of my eyes has failed.
12 Friends and companions shun my disease;
my neighbors stand far off.
13 Those who seek my life lay snares for me;
they seek my misfortune, they speak of ruin;
they plot treachery every day.
“But I am like the deaf, hearing nothing; like the mute, I do not open my mouth; I am even like someone who does not hear, who has no answer ready. Lord, it is for You that I wait; O Lord, my God, You respond.”—Psalm 38:14-16
17 For I have said that they would gloat over me,
exult over me if I stumble.
18 I am very near to falling;
my wounds are with me always.
19 I acknowledge my guilt
and grieve over my sin.
20 My enemies live and grow strong,
those who hate me grow numerous fraudulently,
21 Repaying me evil for good,
accusing me for pursuing good.
22 Do not forsake me, O Lord;
my God, be not far from me!
23 Come quickly to help me,
my Lord and my salvation!—Psalm 38
Psalm 102
1 The prayer of one afflicted and wasting away whose anguish is poured out before the Lord.
2 Lord, hear my prayer;
let my cry come to you.
3 Do not hide your face from me
in the day of my distress.
Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.
4 For my days vanish like smoke;
my bones burn away as in a furnace.
5 My heart is withered, dried up like grass,
too wasted to eat my food.
6 From my loud groaning
I become just skin and bones.
7 I am like a desert owl,
like an owl among the ruins.
8 I lie awake and moan,
like a lone sparrow on the roof.
9 All day long my enemies taunt me;
in their rage, they make my name a curse.
10 I eat ashes like bread,
mingle my drink with tears.
11 Because of your furious wrath,
you lifted me up just to cast me down.
12 My days are like a lengthening shadow;
I wither like the grass.
13 But you, Lord, are enthroned forever;
your renown is for all generations.
14 You will again show mercy to Zion;
now is the time for pity;
the appointed time has come.
15 Its stones are dear to your servants;
its dust moves them to pity.
16 The nations shall fear your name, Lord,
all the kings of the earth, your glory,
17 Once the Lord has rebuilt Zion
and appeared in glory,
18 Heeding the plea of the lowly,
not scorning their prayer.
19 Let this be written for the next generation,
for a people not yet born,
that they may praise the Lord:
20 “The Lord looked down from the holy heights,
viewed the earth from heaven,
21 To attend to the groaning of the prisoners,
to release those doomed to die.”
22 Then the Lord’s name will be declared on Zion,
his praise in Jerusalem,
23 When peoples and kingdoms gather
to serve the Lord.
24 He has shattered my strength in mid-course,
has cut short my days.
25 I plead, O my God,
do not take me in the midst of my days.
Your years last through all generations.
26 Of old you laid the earth’s foundations;
the heavens are the work of your hands.
27 They perish, but you remain;
they all wear out like a garment;
Like clothing you change them and they are changed,
28 but you are the same, your years have no end.
29 May the children of your servants live on;
may their descendants live in your presence.—Psalm 102
Psalm 130
1 A song of ascents.
“Out of the depths I call to You, Lord; Lord, hear my cry! May Your Ears be attentive to my cry for Mercy. If You, Lord, keep account of sins, Lord, who can stand? But with You is Forgiveness and so You are revered.”—Psalm 130: 2-4
5 I wait for the Lord,
my soul waits
and I hope for his word.
6 My soul looks for the Lord
more than sentinels for daybreak.
More than sentinels for daybreak,
7 let Israel hope in the Lord,
For with the Lord is mercy,
with him is plenteous redemption,
8 And he will redeem Israel
from all its sins.—Psalm 130
Psalm 143
1 A psalm of David.
“Lord, hear my Prayer; in your Faithfulness listen to my pleading; answer me in Your Righteousness. Do not enter into Judgment with Your Servant; before you no one can be just.”
—Psalm 143:1-2
3 The enemy has pursued my soul;
he has crushed my life to the ground.
He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
4 My spirit is faint within me;
my heart despairs.
5 I remember the days of old;
I ponder all your deeds;
the works of your hands I recall.
“I stretch out my hands toward You.”—Psalm 143:6
my soul to you like a parched land.
“Hasten to answer me, Lord; for my Spirit fails me. Do not hide Your Face from me, lest I become like those descending to the pit. In the morning let me hear of Your Mercy, for in You I trust. Show me the path I should walk, for I entrust my life to You.”—Psalm 143:7-8
9 Rescue me, Lord, from my foes,
for I seek refuge in you.
“Teach me to do Your Will, for You are my God. May Your Kind Spirit guide me… for Your Name’s Sake, Lord, give me life; in Your Righteousness lead my Soul out of distress… in your Mercy… for I am Your Servant.”—Psalm 143:10-12
on ground that is level.
11 For your name’s sake, Lord, give me life;
in your righteousness lead my soul out of distress.
12 In your mercy put an end to my foes;
all those who are oppressing my soul,
for I am your servant.—Psalm 143
Lent is over and for the very first time I realized that I am a dismal failure and need God to survive here and eternally… went 14 for 40 on my “Lenten Sacrifice” of eating 2,000 calories per day… hopefully God likes baseball and my 0.350 batting average… honestly I tried my best and most slips were in the 2,ooonds… and I did lose a few of those pandemic pounds… and I was totally honest with myself and God and the realization came to me that I do not need to be perfect in God’s Eyes… He does love me and knows I realized and tried my best to be out there in the desert with Jesus these last 40 days… I know I need God in my life, first of firsts, to survive in this world and beyond for all of Eternity! May God Bless all of us as we journey through the ups and downs of Holy Week… may our Hope be transformed into Joy and Eternal Life right here on Earth! Knowing God is present in all faiths and all religions I wish my Jewish friends a beautiful Passover! We all have a common heritage and our diversity is truly our strength so let’s make it so! “Renew within me a Right Spirit.”—Psalm 51:12 PS Link includes my Lenten Meditations including Matthew 4:1-11 and the Seven Penitential Psalms…
(Andy Reistetter, Facebook Post 3-29-21 with one link)
My sister Chris married Bill in 1972 when I was 13 years old. I think so as it is hard to know dates when you are the youngest of six and can always rely on five other family members to set you straight. It was a college love-at-first sight; get married; honeymoon in Amsterdam and then off to Germany where Bill was stationed in the United States Army. After meeting many of Bill’s yodeling relatives, making friends while living off-base, seeing some of the countryside and learning a lot about wine, the couple-in-love returned to America, where Bill went to work in the family dairy farm business with his brother, father, and grandfather. He worked hard, embraced new technology and was always the peace-maker in the family. That’s when I, as a young teenager, on weekend trips to the farm with my parents, really got to know Bill and became lifelong friends. To say the least, Bill was more than a brother-in-law to me, he was an older brother and a friend; sort of a bridge to understanding life and the world beyond growing up in Binghamton, New York. He died in 2017, at age 66, four years ago when I was 57 myself. Here are my Top 10 Bill Blessings and Memories from those forty plus years together:
1. Bill was a man of patience, humble to the core. I can’t ever remember Bill raising his voice, not to me or anyone else. If I made a mistake in the barn, all Bill would do is move himself faster to fix it before any damage was done. Bill would understand why it has taken me four years to get these words out of my heart and down on paper. Why each time I tried to do so tears would come and change from ones of sadness or shock to ones of love and gratitude.
3. Bill loved his country, his family of origin, and Lee Center, outside Rome, New York where he grew up. His service in the Army, at a time when some in his generation opposed that service, was without notice but with distinction, honor, and commitment. I could see Bill tinkering with things in the Signal Corp on the Army base just like he did on the farm. Bill could fix anything or at least get it running temporarily! Awarded the National Defense Service Medal, he had a sense for how things worked and that good knowledge and good will also extended to people. Bill was an American to the core and knew American and World history in great detail and in a logical, common-sense sort of way.
5. Bill would save the chore of cleaning out the calf pen for me and I would like it. Getting pregnant, having calves, producing milk was the mainstream in the life of a cow. Female calves were saved while male calves became cash income to sustain the dairy farm operation and a tasty protein meal on someone’s dinner table. Calves poop a lot and then compress that poop with their hooves as they live their young lives in their pens, day-after-day, week-after-week, usually months before I would come for another visit to family and the farm. I am sure Bill cleaned the calf pen too but surely not in the days right before I would come to do my chore. Once I remember the depth of poop to clean as being at least a foot deep! It was stratified and I felt like an archaeologist digging and searching. Of course I only found concrete which was a welcomed finding! Like I said I liked cleaning out the calf pen. Soon afterwards Bill embraced the concept of outside individual calf huts!
6. As life would have it our raising of families overlapped a little and Bill and the dairy farm was always a part of it until later years when the farm was sold and Bill built their retirement home in a nearby picturesque valley setting. Awaken with news that their first son was born by a phone call on the public phone in the hallway of my college dorm. Then came a daughter and another after that. I remember Bill giving the youngest of our two sons a tour of the barn and the opportunity to feed the small baby calf. Again, surely there is a name for that but a farmer I am not just a benefactor of having a farm in the family. Feeding the calves is really teaching them how to suck the milk from the bucket and learning how to drink. It is an up close and personal sort of job. I will always remember the delight in Tim’s eyes as he came into the house and remarked that “their eyes are so big!”
9. Bill helped me grow up and become the man I am today. I admit that I do use my Bill motif at times when confronted by difficult people in difficult situations. At first I didn’t know what driving the male calves to Vernon meant. There’s a name for male calves but I can’t remember it now. I do remember the day that I watched them go up the conveyor and first took note of the loud buzz saw that greeted them beyond the flap of heavy plastic that I could see. Bill was a good listener and an heartful emphathizer too. In fact that was his go-to and get-along perspective in life; a necessity in a family business and in marriage and fatherhood. Bill was a great guy and a good friend.
11. Did I save the best for last? Not with Bill, it was always good throughout our forty-plus years of life together. My sister Chris marrying Bill was one of the best things to happen in my life. My last time with Bill was on a cold fall night walking on fairly level ground. I did take note when he seemed more winded than usual causing us to slow down going up a slight rise and fall behind others on the walk. It was vintage Bill with us just having a conversation enjoying a moment in life when we could be in each other’s company again. I guess I knew that “we were more than half-way done’ with our lives but I never expected him to pass a few months later. Sometimes we take life for granted when living it. For us Believers, we know the the meaning of death too, that life is indeed everlasting and eternal. We miss you Bill and we look forward meeting once again and more of time together in the years ahead up in Heaven.
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Holy Saturday—the last day of Holy Week to prepare for Easter Sunday. We grieve, we wait, we fear, we hope. We have Jesus’ Promise of The Holy Spirit the Last Supper with Him on Thursday. We know we should ‘Love One Another’ as Jesus told and demonstrated to us.
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Hell is Hell but Called ‘Hades’ in the Bible:
“And when they came to a place called Golgotha (which means Place of the Skull), they gave Jesus wine to drink mixed with gall. But when He had tasted it, He refused to drink. After they had crucified Him, they divided His Garments by casting lots; then they sat down and kept watch over Him there. And they placed over His Head the written charge against Him: This is Jesus, the King of the Jews. Two revolutionaries were crucified with Him, one on His right and the other on His left. Those passing by reviled Him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who would destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself, if you are the Son of God, and come down from the cross!” Likewise the chief priests with the scribes and elders mocked Him and said, “He saved others; He cannot save himself. So He is the King of Israel! Let Him come down from the cross now, and we will believe in Him. He trusted in God; let Him deliver Him now if He wants Him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” The revolutionaries who were crucified with him also kept abusing him in the same way.”
“They brought Jesus to the place of Golgotha (which is translated Place of the Skull). They gave Him wine drugged with myrrh, but He did not take it. Then they crucified Him and divided His garments by casting lots for them to see what each should take. It was nine o’clock in the morning when they crucified Him. The inscription of the charge against Him read, “The King of the Jews.” With Him they crucified two revolutionaries, one on His right and one on His left. Those passing by reviled Him, shaking their heads and saying, “Aha! You who would destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself by coming down from the cross.” Likewise the chief priests, with the scribes, mocked Him among themselves and said, “He saved others; He cannot save himself. Let the Messiah, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe.” Those who were crucified with Him also kept abusing him.”—Mark 15:22-32
“When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified Jesus and the criminals there, one on His right, the other on His left. Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” They divided His Garments by casting lots. The people stood by and watched; the rulers, meanwhile, sneered at Him and said, “He saved others, let Him save Himself if He is the Chosen One, the Messiah of God.” Even the soldiers jeered at Him. As they approached to offer Him wine they called out, “If You are King of the Jews, save Yourself.” Above Him there was an inscription that read, “This is the King of the Jews.”
“So they took Jesus, and carrying the cross Himself He went out to what is called the Place of the Skull, in Hebrew, Golgotha. There they crucified Him, and with Him two others, one on either side, with Jesus in the middle. Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, “Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews.” Now many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek. So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that He said, ‘I am the King of the Jews.’” Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.””—John 19:16-22
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“It is enough! The hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand.” And immediately, while He was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, with a great multitude with swords and clubs, came from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. Now His Betrayer had given them a signal, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him and lead Him away safely.” As soon as he had come, immediately he went up to Jesus and said to Him, “Rabbi, Rabbi!” and kissed Him. Then they laid their hands on Him and took Him. And one of those who stood by drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, and cut off his ear. Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs to take Me? I was daily with you in the Temple teaching, and you did not seize Me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.” Then they all forsook Him and fled.”—Mark 14:41-50
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I have told you this while I am with you. The Advocate, The Holy Spirit that the Father will send in My Name—He will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you. Peace I leave with you; My Peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid. You heard Me tell you, ‘I am going away and I will come back to you.’ If you loved Me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father; for the Father is greater than I. And now I have told you this before it happens, so that when it happens you may believe. I will no longer speak much with you, for the ruler of the world is coming. He has no power over Me, but the world must know that I love the Father and that I do just as the Father has commanded Me. Get up, let us go.”—John 14:15-31
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“Then an argument broke out among them about which of them should be regarded as the greatest. He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them and those in authority over them are addressed as ‘Benefactors’; but among you it shall not be so. Rather, let the greatest among you be as the youngest, and the leader as the servant. For who is greater: the one seated at table or the one who serves? Is it not the one seated at table? I am among you as the One Who Serves.”—Luke 22:24-27
“Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that His Hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved His Own in the World and He loved them to the end. The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper, fully aware that the Father had put everything into His Power and that He had come from God and was returning to God, He rose from supper and took off His outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around His waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and dry them with the towel around His waist. He came to Simon Peter, who said to Him, “Master, are You going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” Peter said to Him, “You will never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with Me.” Simon Peter said to him, “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.” Jesus said to him, “Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over; so you are clean, but not all.” For he knew who would betray Him; for this reason, He said, “Not all of you are clean.”—John 13:1-11
“So when he had washed their feet and put His garments back on and reclined at table again, He said to them, “Do you realize what I have done for you? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Master,’ and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the Master and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do. Amen, Amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it. I am not speaking of all of you. I know those whom I have chosen. But so that the Scripture might be fulfilled, ‘The one who ate My Food has raised his heel against Me.’ From now on I am telling you before it happens, so that when it happens you may believe that I AM. Amen, Amen, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send receives Me, and whoever receives Me receives the One who sent Me.”—John 13:1-11