The TROML Process is all about being open-minded and open-hearted while seeking inspiration from all sources at all times–past, present, and future! Then customizing, digesting and transforming that inspiration into one’s own TROML Program! Take what you like and leave the rest!
This is a perfect example of a great article that came to me through an OA Buddy. Something I connected strongly with at that moment–what I call a Godsend! Except for one thing–there was no God in it! So I changed it, substituting this one paragraph, to replace the Non-God paragraph which is included in the article below. TROML Baby!
Published here with all original credit to Charlie Scatturo & his “‘The Work’ of Change.”
The work is made easier once we realize that all of it is not ours to do or within our simple willpower! Once we seek a Higher Power and know in our hearts that it does exist for real, it is easy to surrender and tap into our Higher Power’s wisdom, will, direction and power! From this moment on, or from this period of time onward into our Inward Journey, our lives are changed forever! Peace joy, unity, and freedom becomes possible and seeps into or gushes into our lives one day at a time. All change occurs from the inside out, especially when we no longer allow our self, pride or ego to continue impersonating our souls. It was naive and ignorant to think we were God or that God does not exist. Willingly and humbly we learn that He does exist, especially inside each one of us! TROML Baby!
We talk about change all the time. The reasons we should change. The benefits of change. The strategies we can use to motivate ourselves to make changes.
But we often neglect talking about “The Work” of change. The unsexy, difficult, and downright agonizing parts that make serious personal change possible.
Of course, we know that making significant changes in ourselves requires a hell of a lot of work, but when we talk about the work of change we often do so in a way that makes it seem ambiguous and vague and mysterious. And this reality is often detrimental.
With that in mind, I wanted to get more concrete. To flesh out what “The Work” is all about. So here’s what I think we mean when we talk about “The Work” that’s involved in making personal changes.
The work is recognizing our destructive patterns of behavior in spite of how painful it is to look back at our lives and realize the damage we’ve caused.
The work is trying to correct problematic behavior as we become more aware of it. The work is identifying the root of these behaviors and starting to cut them off before they have a chance to start.
The work is going beyond our urges. The work is questioning what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling it.
The work is digging deeper. The work is not staying on the surface of our feelings or urges where it’s safe and cozy. The work is getting into the uncomfortable, ugly stuff we’ve been avoiding for far too long.
The work is suspending our disbelief. The work is getting the cynical person inside to go on vacation for a while.
The work is taking the smallest victory, the most trivial-seeming action, and making sure to commemorate it. Even if it feels dumb and self-serving and ridiculous. Especially if it feels dumb and self-serving and ridiculous.
The work is remembering that the little changes come first and pave the way for bigger changes that follow later on. The work is not giving up before the bigger changes have a chance to occur.
The work is remembering it’s a process. The work is remembering we will never be perfect.
The work is tolerating setbacks and not thinking a setback means all of our progress has suddenly disappeared. The work is recognizing that setbacks are a part of change.
Note: Charlie’s original paragraph:
The work is not seeking something that doesn’t exist. Some magic bullet. Some startling epiphany from someone who fell out of the sky that’s going to change our lives. The work is accepting those things don’t exist and not becoming disillusioned when we realize how naïve it was to think that’s how change occurred.
Replaced in my Personal TROML Program with:
The work is made easier once we realize that all of it is not ours to do or within our simple willpower! Once we seek a Higher Power and know in our hearts that it does exist for real, it is easy to surrender and tap into our Higher Power’s wisdom, will, direction and power! From this moment on, or from this period of time onward into our Inward Journey, our lives are changed forever! Peace joy, unity, and freedom becomes possible and seeps into or gushes into our lives one day at a time. All change occurs from the inside out, especially when we no longer allow our self, pride or ego to continue impersonating our souls. It was naive and ignorant to think we were God or that God does not exist. Willingly and humbly we learn that He does exist, especially inside each one of us! TROML Baby!
Continuing with Charlie’s article:
The work is cutting ourselves a goddamn break even when it feels self indulgent. The work is fighting off the voice that tells us trying to change is dumb and we’re not worth it.
The work is being afraid and doing it anyway.
The work is protecting our heart when it’s so much easier to wallow in self-pity.
The work is getting up for another day even when it seems like there’s no point and we’re 1000% certain we know exactly what today is going to bring. The work is trying to keep the door ajar just in case something unexpected and not horrible happens to wander in.
The work is tolerating “okay” or “decent” or “not bad” for a long time before anything that resembles “good” or “great” or “fantastic” might appear.
The work is not getting so goddamn frustrated that we spend all our time beating ourselves to a pulp. The work is becoming aware of our self-flagellation cycles that leave us with no energy to actually work on the things that need to be changed.
The work is not getting so discouraged when we try to change but we don’t get the result we desired. The work is being able to tolerate the fact that we did things differently but still ended up in the same place. The work is understanding that sometimes life won’t cooperate.
The work is keeping in mind that the first few times we try to make changes we’ll probably fail. The work is continuing to keep trying even when the outcome of our previous attempt ended with disappointment.
And perhaps most of all, the work is realizing there’s always more work to do.
