The Work of Change Made Easier with our Faith & Belief in a Higher Power!

The TROML Process is all about being open-minded and open-hearted while seeking inspiration from all sources at all times–past, present, and future! Then customizing, digesting and transforming that inspiration into one’s own TROML Program! Take what you like and leave the rest!

This is a perfect example of a great article that came to me through an OA Buddy. Something I connected strongly with at that moment–what I call a Godsend! Except for one thing–there was no God in it! So I changed it, substituting this one paragraph, to replace the Non-God paragraph which is included in the article below. TROML Baby!

Published here with all original credit to Charlie Scatturo & his “‘The Work’ of Change.”

The work is made easier once we realize that all of it is not ours to do or within our simple willpower! Once we seek a Higher Power and know in our hearts that it does exist for real, it is easy to surrender and tap into our Higher Power’s wisdom, will, direction and power! From this moment on, or from this period of time onward into our Inward Journey, our lives are changed forever! Peace joy, unity, and freedom becomes possible and seeps into or gushes into our lives one day at a time. All change occurs from the inside out, especially when we no longer allow our self, pride or ego to continue impersonating our souls. It was naive and ignorant to think we were God or that God does not exist. Willingly and humbly we learn that He does exist, especially inside each one of us! TROML Baby!

We talk about change all the time. The reasons we should change. The benefits of change. The strategies we can use to motivate ourselves to make changes.

But we often neglect talking about “The Work” of change. The unsexy, difficult, and downright agonizing parts that make serious personal change possible.

Of course, we know that making significant changes in ourselves requires a hell of a lot of work, but when we talk about the work of change we often do so in a way that makes it seem ambiguous and vague and mysterious. And this reality is often detrimental.

With that in mind, I wanted to get more concrete. To flesh out what “The Work” is all about. So here’s what I think we mean when we talk about “The Work” that’s involved in making personal changes.

The work is recognizing our destructive patterns of behavior in spite of how painful it is to look back at our lives and realize the damage we’ve caused.

The work is trying to correct problematic behavior as we become more aware of it. The work is identifying the root of these behaviors and starting to cut them off before they have a chance to start.

The work is going beyond our urges. The work is questioning what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling it.

The work is digging deeper. The work is not staying on the surface of our feelings or urges where it’s safe and cozy. The work is getting into the uncomfortable, ugly stuff we’ve been avoiding for far too long.

The work is suspending our disbelief. The work is getting the cynical person inside to go on vacation for a while.

The work is taking the smallest victory, the most trivial-seeming action, and making sure to commemorate it. Even if it feels dumb and self-serving and ridiculous. Especially if it feels dumb and self-serving and ridiculous.

The work is remembering that the little changes come first and pave the way for bigger changes that follow later on. The work is not giving up before the bigger changes have a chance to occur.

The work is remembering it’s a process. The work is remembering we will never be perfect.

The work is tolerating setbacks and not thinking a setback means all of our progress has suddenly disappeared. The work is recognizing that setbacks are a part of change.

Note: Charlie’s original paragraph:

The work is not seeking something that doesn’t exist. Some magic bullet. Some startling epiphany from someone who fell out of the sky that’s going to change our lives. The work is accepting those things don’t exist and not becoming disillusioned when we realize how naïve it was to think that’s how change occurred.

Replaced in my Personal TROML Program with:

The work is made easier once we realize that all of it is not ours to do or within our simple willpower! Once we seek a Higher Power and know in our hearts that it does exist for real, it is easy to surrender and tap into our Higher Power’s wisdom, will, direction and power! From this moment on, or from this period of time onward into our Inward Journey, our lives are changed forever! Peace joy, unity, and freedom becomes possible and seeps into or gushes into our lives one day at a time. All change occurs from the inside out, especially when we no longer allow our self, pride or ego to continue impersonating our souls. It was naive and ignorant to think we were God or that God does not exist. Willingly and humbly we learn that He does exist, especially inside each one of us! TROML Baby!

Continuing with Charlie’s article:

The work is cutting ourselves a goddamn break even when it feels self indulgent. The work is fighting off the voice that tells us trying to change is dumb and we’re not worth it.

The work is being afraid and doing it anyway.

The work is protecting our heart when it’s so much easier to wallow in self-pity.

The work is getting up for another day even when it seems like there’s no point and we’re 1000% certain we know exactly what today is going to bring. The work is trying to keep the door ajar just in case something unexpected and not horrible happens to wander in.

The work is tolerating “okay” or “decent” or “not bad” for a long time before anything that resembles “good” or “great” or “fantastic” might appear.

The work is not getting so goddamn frustrated that we spend all our time beating ourselves to a pulp. The work is becoming aware of our self-flagellation cycles that leave us with no energy to actually work on the things that need to be changed.

The work is not getting so discouraged when we try to change but we don’t get the result we desired. The work is being able to tolerate the fact that we did things differently but still ended up in the same place. The work is understanding that sometimes life won’t cooperate.

The work is keeping in mind that the first few times we try to make changes we’ll probably fail. The work is continuing to keep trying even when the outcome of our previous attempt ended with disappointment.

And perhaps most of all, the work is realizing there’s always more work to do.


Knowing our Triggers, Loving Our Selves, TROML Baby!

1Keep your finger on the trigger…

What do I mean by that? Actually, I’m an advocate for gun control. My intention was to get your attention.

We all have triggers. Once again, it’s a part of our human experience. We come into this world in an imperfect state and we leave—hopefully a little wiser—adding value and supporting other humans in this world.

Well, that’s the goal anyway. If you have had the experience of becoming a parent, you bring this beautiful baby into the world and pray that they are perfect in every way: physically, mentally and spiritually. You want perfection. If you are fortunate enough to have a child that is physically perfect, you find yourself staring at your child and thinking: “this is it”! I have reached perfection myself through giving birth to this perfect human.

2The reality is this, we all have scars. There is no such thing as a perfect human. Some people wear their scars on the outside, others carry them on the inside. So, soon you will find that this perfect looking baby you have, has imperfections. I have seen parents devastated when their own “perfect” child does something wrong, or hurts another child intentionally. It’s part of the plan. None of us are perfect at all; nor, will ever be. We have people doing wonderful things every day. Those same people can do harm. How is that possible?

We have to accept that we as humans are constantly struggling. Some days are lovely, beautiful and filled with joy. Other days are not. We can be hopeful for periods of time, and then something, someone or a tragedy comes along, out of our control which literally, “rocks our world view”.

These are the triggers I am talking about. Some of us know what our triggers are, and others don’t know, or may never know.

3People with allergies learn—sometimes the hard way—that there are certain foods that cause triggers. If you have ever had an allergic reaction, you understand what I am talking about. Depending on the severity of the reaction—most folks with allergies will learn very quickly to stay away from these allergens. Sometimes, it’s darn impossible, depending on the food, environment or allergen you are trying to avoid. Then, other times, we knowingly head right into trouble, even though we know the consequences.

However, even if you are one of the lucky people who don’t suffer from allergies, there are plenty of other triggers out there that will stomp you down. These triggers are in the form of people, places and things. Experience is what teaches us; however, since we are human and fallible, we can’t seem to avoid these triggers. Sometimes it’s intentional on our parts, sometimes we have no control whatsoever.

Some of these uncontrollable triggers are: loss of loved ones through distance or death, break-ups, loss of any “thing” that you held near and dear. There are negative people, even places and things that we know we should stay away from because they are not good for us, but we have these moments of weakness, even amidst moments of strength. It is amazing how quickly something positive can turn negative. Affairs of the heart can cause us to spiral out-of-control into these triggers of sadness, loneliness and anxiety which can lead to despair, depression and long term acute illnesses, both mental and physical.

4I think there is power in knowing what these triggers are and how they affect us. We don’t have complete power over any of them, but we can look for support through a variety of tools, including friends, family and organizations.

I think the key is the old Boy Scout motto: “Be prepared”. Or, another way of saying it is forewarned is forearmed. This awareness doesn’t solve all of the problems of the world, it won’t even solve all of your problems. But, if you take the time to know yourself, and your triggers, you have a much better chance of not only surviving when negative triggers are present, but thriving, and helping others deal with their triggers.

It’s all about the Connections in our Beliefs…

Hallelujah and Namu Myoho Renge Kyo

Editor’s Note:

0Namu Myoho Renge Kyo means Glory to the Sutra of the Lotus of the Supreme Law and is the central mantra chanted within all forms of Nichiren Buddhism.

Hallelujah is a transliteration of the Hebrew word הַלְּלוּיָהּ, which is composed of two elements: הַלְּלוּ (an exhortation to “praise” addressed to several people) and יָהּ (the name of God) and is generally translated as “Praise be to God.”

1I have a Master’s degree in Interdisciplinary Studies, which is a fancier way of saying: “I see the connections in everything.”

I believe that connections exist everywhere, all the time, and it is our privilege as humans—if we want to grow and expand our knowledge—to find these connections.

I was born a Roman Catholic and baptized, and received my first Holy Communion. Then a major change in my family life occurred. Oddly enough, I was the child who started this roller coaster ride when I came home one day and asked my dad why we didn’t read the Bible. Soon afterwards, my father left the Catholic Church, taking us along with him, and we became “Born Again Christians” attending a fundamentalist Baptist Church.

3Since this transformation at the age of eleven, I have been mindful…more like consumed with the topic of religion, eternal life, who goes to heaven, who doesn’t and why. Is there a heaven, or is it a stream of energy in the Universe, or the now more popular term: Multiverses?

This has been a journey for over four decades. I have written a thesis on the topic and my fascination with formal religion, or a more broad way of looking at it…spirituality. I have finally decided that I categorize myself as the latter of the two. My disappointment with formalized religious doctrine, is just that. I see it as doctrine. Humans often times crave or look for rules to guide or decide which way to go. I believe that these rules should be more like guidelines. This is my personal belief. That said, I have extreme respect for all people and all religions and hope they will share their stories with me throughout my lifetime.

4Anonymous Andy wrote an article on the Secret Chord…this secret chord we will strike with our life. He then went on to talk about Shrek (one of my favorite movies, for different reasons), but most of all the song, with lyrics. I got caught up in the Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah…almost to infinity, and that is what Hallelujah represents. It represents the word of all words in Christianity…Praise be to God. When all words fail us, it is this incredible chorus to sing, in repetition as a comfort. It is the chorus of Handel’s Messiah and many other hymns, I am sure many of you have sung on multiple occasions, if you are Christian.

5So, there you have it. It is a mantra. I do jokingly call myself a Catholic/Buddhist. Much to my father’s dismay (if he knew), I would have to say that Catholicism is my culture, in my DNA, and impossible to dismiss completely.

I have had the chance to attend many different religious ceremonies and have felt welcomed wherever I have visited. I got the chance to chant at a Buddhist service and although I didn’t completely feel the transformation, I did feel the connection with this group for the hour I joined them in chanting.  As I learned, the purpose of chanting, is to attain perfect and complete awakening and unify with the spiritual force which animates the Universe.

6As humans, we are so small. Yet, we want to feel important, and that is where the Ego comes in. At times, we have to dismiss our own egos to become a part of something greater than ourselves. Something greater that leads us to another life—eternal life or this stream of eternal energy.


It’s what makes us feel less lonely on this planet. Yes, so, I do get the organized religious stuff. We crave a sense of belonging. We want to grow and expand our knowledge—to find these connections.

Searching for Euphoria; then Finding Fulfillment in Life!

Searching for Euphoria; then Finding Fulfillment in Life!

1 EuphoriaThat’s what humans do. We search for it in a variety of ways. Some are productive, some are destructive.

But that’s what we need. We look to fill this void in our human selves. We know we are a part of a higher calling or mission. Some people call it God. Others call it the Universe.

All civilizations, from the beginning of recorded history left their mark in looking for this higher calling. Humans looked up to the sky and knew the power of water, soil, light and air.

Our human selves seek to be a part of something greater. But on the way to that need to be a part of something greater, or connection, we seek thrills, satisfaction through many devices and, literally, our brain is looking for a way to be fulfilled.

2 fulfillmentThis need for satisfaction comes in such a variety of ways. Some seek endorphins through exercise, extreme or otherwise. Others have a “need for speed”. Fast, falling, climbing, driving, “on the edge” kind of speed.

Others look for this brain fix through things like drugs, (legal or not) dictated by pharmaceutical companies. Others choose a more traditional route through alcohol, which is legal in this century which makes it a more acceptable mode of endorphin seeking behavior.

Others get this same satisfaction through food…how much more legal can that be? We need food to live, to grow, to function. Sometimes our brain tells us to keep going. Why not? It’s necessary, right?

3 stages-of-growth-and-development-3-638We feed our children and are very concerned about their growth and development. We feed them good food. I help new moms and I cannot tell you how many times I deal with the struggle “breast is best”!

Well, when things don’t work well or they are not producing enough milk, I tell them, relax, “both is best”! In less than four or five months you will be feeding them food, not from your body. These new moms need to adjust as much as the babies they are feeding. It’s okay. There is so much controversy about food, chemicals, etc. in our society. We think that if we eat the right foods, we will not get cancer or any other malady. Truth is, we just need to try to do the right thing. I have seen so many people who have done “everything right” and still, they get cancer or heart disease. So, there is something more outside of our control. A whole other subject that I could also write about…another time.

_4 moderationThe key to life, or living a good life is moderation. That sounds great, right? Just be moderate, in all things. The Bible, the Koran and all other religions and programs have a guide book which refers to this key to moderation.

Not easy, because we are humans and we want more, we want euphoria, satisfaction and have a need to be in this state ALL THE TIME! We seek what scientists now call endorphins.

I have been watching neuroscientists and have “high” hopes that during my lifetime, surgeons will be able to make adjustments to our human brains through laser or other non-life threatening adjustments.

So, be kind to yourselves fellow-humans. We desire these “states of euphoria” because we want to feel good, reach a higher state of consciousness, as our own God or Universe has lead us to do.