I Can’t Make Myself Feel Any Different Than I Do…

I can’t make myself feel any different than I do.

Nor would I want to as I grow in TROML and seek inspiration and truth in my life.

Having feelings and emotions is part of living life as a human being. Feeling feelings is that subtle difference between being a human being versus a human doer if you know what I mean.

I grew up in a typical “don’t trust, don’t talk and don’t feel” alcoholic home. It was a loving home where love, sacrifice and understanding were present most of the time but when push came to shove the response was not “let’s talk about this, share our feelings, and go on from there” in a calm , trusting way. It was more of a “I need to survive the chaos, I can’t trust, talk or feel right now.” environment at difficult times. That was me, another child growing up in a similar situation may have reacted much differently.

How did I learn, as a man, to feel my feelings and accept them as a legitimate part of life that was important to my overall health and well being?

I realized that I was not God. God is God. That means whatever you believe in or don’t believe in, in terms of a Higher Power, you are not. It is a much different perspective than the world would lead you to believe in. I have yet to see a commercial which concludes even if you don’t buy my product or service that you will be fine. The world always says, it seems. that we need something outside of ourselves to be happy.

I have been trying to become more emotionally mature in my TROML program and escape the world’s perspective through active inspiration seeking and TROML Journaling for the past 15 years. Surrendering and accepting we don;t have complete control in life is a simple spiritual concept, easy to understand and believe, but difficult to implement in our thoughts, words and actions in life.

From Twelve Step programs I have learned to accept people, places, things and situations beginning with God and me.

How did I do this?

By praying and meditating, living and making mistakes and being as humble and willing as I could and letting a section called “Upon Awakening” on Page 86 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous come to me in a special way that I understand and can act on.

Now, when I feel indecisive, anxious, agitated, doubtful, or basically any other feeling that surprises me or doesn’t make sense to me, I ask God these four questions:

God, I ask You to free me of my self, my ego and my self-will. I take the helicopter ride that I learned about in Corporate America up to a higher viewpoint and perspective. Through God I can see and be open-minded 360 degrees and mindful with a view of myself, my situation and other people, places and things. But most importantly I see it in a way free of any self-seeking motives. The view is clear and present because I am momentarily out of self, ego and my will.

God, I ask You to direct my thinking. This is different than playing God and trying to direct other people. Yes, there are times in life where being a supervisor or manager at work, a wife or husband or a mother or father requires us to make a decision for others to follow, do and implement. But even in those situations, as human beings, it is best to seek to have God or your Higher Power to direct your thinking. What are my motives here, do they make sense in God’s loving world?

This second question helps me with trusting, sharing and feeling feelings and emotions as an adult, especially in difficult and trying situations with all sorts of people. When I think about my relationship with myself, what I think about myself and how I treat myself with words and behaviors and I ask God to direct my thinking an unexpected feeling of peace, joy and freedom comes to me.

When I am out of self, God directs me to be accepting, loving and compassionate towards my self. This is something that was and sometimes still is very difficult for me to do—being one’s own harshest critic is not a healthful thing to have inside our core for our well being. I find it true that unless I first truly accept, love and be compassionate to myself it is difficult to truly be that way to others.

God, I ask You to inspire my thoughts is the third question. Questions One & Two help me get to an inspirational thought-life and detect when I am not aligned with God’s will for me. This is a check that my motives are pure, not based on fear, resentment or dishonest and self-centered motives.

Usually by now the path forward or decision has become clear. The fourth question follows from the first three.

God, I ask You to show me the next step to take today. Sometimes that step is to do nothing.

Payne Stewart, known to the world as a golfer, who was called Home all too soon from a worldly perspective, was a spiritual-minded man that wore a W.W.J.D. bracelet —What would Jesus do?

For me, being aligned with God’s Will keeps me in fit spiritual shape and gives me God’s Power to overcome and recover from my disease of compulsive overeating and being a sugar addict. It also helps me overcome my character defects and shortcomings on an ongoing, day-to-day basis.

Instead of going directly from feeling uncomfortable feelings to compulsively and emotionally overeating I can take a TROML Timeout and make better decisions on the run.

I am not perfect. If you know me personally you already know that.

But with TROML and God’s Inspiration I am the best I can be today and that includes being a human being and feeling my feelings.

That in turn gives me the opportunity to pause, not react and act on God’s Will, with God’s Power, when needed in life.

To feel or not feel?

What will you do?

Have a TROML Day Today!

Anonymous Andy

Your Personal Revivalist



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